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Build a proper self-esteem

BUILD A PROPER SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is simply a generalized feeling about self. For your life the count you need to build a proper self-esteem. The Bible say, I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.               Psalms 139:14.         Someone has said,”There are five billion people in the world, and there are five billion people who struggle with self-esteem.” While this may not be totally true, the fact remains that many men and women in the world, today, seem to be struggling with the inner feelings of incompleteness, emptiness, self-doubt and self-hatred. They express these in different forms of emotional imbalance such as a constant and assumed feeling of rejection, inferiority complex, lack of confidence, feeling of intimation, etc. this mean that, there are those with low self-esteem and those high self-esteem.

Personal worth is the most basic need of all humans, and this need has to be met, if your life must count, and positively affect your world. This sense of personal worth has two basic and very significant elements: security and significance. Security means being loved and accepted just for who you are, regardless of what you do. Psychologists call this core self-esteem.

Significance on the other hand, means having meaning or purpose in your life, and being adequate for what you do. It is knowing that we are good at what we do. Psychologists call this situational self-esteem.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is simply a generalized feeling about self. This could be a sum of a set of judgement about one’s value, worthiness and competence in various domains in life. It is being happy with your character and abilities; pride in oneself. On the other hand, it could be based on the judgment others pass about you. Self-esteem could either be on the positive or negative.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem or the negative self-worth is essentially a human condition that stems out of a default childhood, or born as a result of negative life experience. The person will begin to build a negative self-image, feeling incapable of doing things and being unacceptable by others. But, as a child of God, you can develop a proper self-esteem.

The Origin Of Poor Self-Esteem

Two factors rank highest as the origin of poor self-esteem. They are: childhood and peer pressure. The Bible says: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.      Proverbs 22:6. Most of the images we have of ourselves are built into us in childhood. Dorothy Corkille Briggs, an educator and child counsellor, says, “Your child’s judgment of himself influences the kind of friends he chooses, how he goes along with others, the kind of person he marries, and how productive he will be. It affects his creativity, integrity, stability, and even whether he will be a leader or follower. His feeling of self-worth form the core of his personality and determines the use he makes of his aptitude and abilities. His attitude towards himself has a direct bearing on how he lives all parts of his life. In fact, self-esteem is the mainspring that slates every child for success or failure as a human being.

Poor self-esteem results, when a child has false assumption of what he thinks will meet his need for security and significance, the reason it is called a false assumption is because it does not give him or her unconditional love, acceptance and significance in life, but only a temporary sense of self-esteem. False assumptions begins at childhood, but they are influenced by peers.

Please understand: when a parent is criticizing a child, it is not just the words that are used that affect the child, but also the tone of voice. Even when the child wants to leave it all behind, his head keeps replaying the messages his parents have been passing across.

Poor self-esteem is dangerous!

Medically, individuals that have negative self-worth have been discovered to be prone to suffer illness. Because of the feelings of insecurity, most victims feel insecure among others. They suffer stress, illness, heart diseases and these conditions have led many to commit suicide. In his magazine,

Joan Lloyd Guest wrote:   Low self-esteem is destructive. It can affect all aspects of our lives: it can contribute to our fear of rejection (which causes us to avoid closeness); make us respond to loved ones with anger and defensiveness; keep us from communicating our true feeling; keep us isolated, unable to be vulnerable; and affect our physical health by causing digestive disorders or high blood pressure. Worse yet, a poor self-image often feed a vicious circle. The very things we do because we feel worthless tend to make us less desirable to friends and family, thereby cutting us off from the warmth we desperately seek. This cycle can spin a person into a deep depression.

Jabez was a man named sorrow by his mother, because she bore him in sorrow. This negative self-esteem accompanied him everywhere he went. But one day, he decided to do something about it. The Bible records: And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.                                                                              1 Chronicles 4:10

You don’t have to settle down with the negative condition of your childhood training. You can bring about a positive change!

How then do you develop a proper or positive self-esteem? Low self-esteem is essentially a human condition. Note that all human conditions can be swallowed up by the Spirit of God, when you become a child of God.

This post was last modified on June 19, 2018, 7:40 am